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Talking with Teens

Things that May Help with Grief
 
  • Being acknowledged (knowing people are thinking of them)
  • Working (staying busy)
  • Helping (getting out and helping others can help diminish grief)
  • Sharing (feelings of loneliness can decrease when common experiences are shared)
  • Talking (it's always helpful to have a good listener)
  • Crying (brings relief)
  • Laughing (it's okay and healthy to laugh and have a good time)
  • Hugging (it often meant more than words could say)
  • Being with friends (staying in comfortable environment)
  • Being alone (time to process individually)

Things that hurt
 
  • Being avoided (people did not know what to do or say)
  • Being pushed to talk (sometimes I did not feel like talking or did not like people being nosy)
  • Feeling different (people whispered about me, looked at me. Sometimes I just wanted to forget what had happened and feel normal again)
  • Being offered a replacement (like people saying I should get another dog or that my mother should have another baby)
  • Not being asked (it hurt when people asked my friends what happened because they were afraid to ask me)
  • Being told how to feel ("you shouldn't cry, don't be angry, you should be over this by now, everyone feels that way," etc.)


Ways to Express Sympathy

  • Say "I'm sorry this happened to you."

  • Give a hug, take some flowers, bake some cookies, lend a teddy bear, listen

  • Do not be afraid to mention the dead person's name

  • Remember to keep in touch

  • Find out if s/he wants to do routine activities or wants a break

  • Do not act embarrassed if a grieving friend cries or laughs...just be there


Things that might be a support to grieving teenagers
 
  • Keeping a diary or a journal
  • Joining a support group of peers who are also grieving
  • Writing letters of regrets and appreciations to the one who has died.