Talking with Teens
Things that May Help with Grief
Things that hurt
Things that might be a support to grieving teenagers
- Being acknowledged (knowing people are thinking of them)
- Working (staying busy)
- Helping (getting out and helping others can help diminish grief)
- Sharing (feelings of loneliness can decrease when common experiences are shared)
- Talking (it's always helpful to have a good listener)
- Crying (brings relief)
- Laughing (it's okay and healthy to laugh and have a good time)
- Hugging (it often meant more than words could say)
- Being with friends (staying in comfortable environment)
- Being alone (time to process individually)
Things that hurt
- Being avoided (people did not know what to do or say)
- Being pushed to talk (sometimes I did not feel like talking or did not like people being nosy)
- Feeling different (people whispered about me, looked at me. Sometimes I just wanted to forget what had happened and feel normal again)
- Being offered a replacement (like people saying I should get another dog or that my mother should have another baby)
- Not being asked (it hurt when people asked my friends what happened because they were afraid to ask me)
- Being told how to feel ("you shouldn't cry, don't be angry, you should be over this by now, everyone feels that way," etc.)
Ways to Express Sympathy
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Say "I'm sorry this happened to you."
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Give a hug, take some flowers, bake some cookies, lend a teddy bear, listen
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Do not be afraid to mention the dead person's name
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Remember to keep in touch
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Find out if s/he wants to do routine activities or wants a break
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Do not act embarrassed if a grieving friend cries or laughs...just be there
Things that might be a support to grieving teenagers
- Keeping a diary or a journal
- Joining a support group of peers who are also grieving
- Writing letters of regrets and appreciations to the one who has died.